I have been thinking about how I wanted to approach this post for awhile. I have spent the better part of five years going back and forth trying to figure out what I want from life and how I am going to get it. I have been, and in some ways continue to be, lost in life and have made several choices which have resulted in stress, happiness, sadness, and frustration. I have made moves out of state and back again, bought a house, bought cars, and tried to fill some void that never seemed to be filled. Most recently, I decided to go back to school and pursue a career in teaching. After moving back to California, I was struggling to find work and decided a career change was in order. I stopped looking for full time work and started my Master's in Education and started subbing with various school districts. I really enjoyed it and figured I'd finally found something I was passionate about. School was going well and things seemed to be falling into place.
After struggling through 2014, I approached the 2015 year with high hopes. However, half way through January we experienced a break in at the house (luckily not much was taken and no one was hurt). Insert wake up call. I call it a wake up call, because that is exactly what it was. For the first couple of weeks after the break in, I hated leaving the house and struggled to find the positive. However, it also sparked something within me that I am forever going to be grateful for. Some of the best advice I received during this difficult time was that the break in was maybe meant to be and that I needed to use this time really do some deep soul searching and truly learn to trust and love myself. This is something that is much easier said than done, but is something that I am continually working on. It took me some time to admit to myself that my internal struggle (mentioned above) really did start about five years ago when I graduated from college. Looking back, I think that I was subconsciously scared that I was now supposed to know what to do with my life and that I instantly needed to figure it all out. As of late, I have spent the last several weeks deciding that teaching is not for me. The art of teaching is something I do truly find rewarding and enticing, but due to other reasons, I have decided this profession is not for me. I have withdrawn from my Master's program, applied for a different Master's program in English, and started applying for several jobs which will help me achieve dreams I've had for quite some time. It was not a decision that was made lightly, but one that I really feel is right for me, at least right now.
As of last week, I was accepted in an online English program with Southern New Hampshire University, and I was offered a job with Delta Dental which is an opportunity that I am truly blessed to be given. I feel so incredibly grateful for life; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Though the year didn't start out as planned, I feel like the rest of 2015 is going to be great. I am a constant work in progress, but I am starting to learn to listen to my instincts and trust myself. I am so excited to see where my new adventures take me.
